It’s okay to be different: Follow your passions and you will find your people!

It’s okay to be different: Follow your passions and you will find your   people!

 

Randi Heesoo Griffins

Randi Heesoo Griffins is a member of the Korean women’s ice hockey team in the 2018 Pyeongchang Winter Olympics. She was raised in the US by her Korean          mother and American father. She joined Team Korea in 2015 after they recruited  her to join the team for the Olympics. She earned an undergraduate degree in      evolutionary biology from Harvard University and is currently a post-doctoral       research fellow at Insight Data Science after obtaining PhD from Duke University. -ED

      

People often ask me how I chose my path in life, which some might consider         “successful”, and others might consider “unusual”. Why did I choose ice hockey,  a sport that girls are discouraged from playing? Why did I choose to study Human Evolution and Ecology in school, even though it wasn’t considered a practical       major?

Truthfully, I have felt unsure about many big decisions in my life. I felt unsure   because people often told me that I was choosing the “wrong path”, so there was a conflict between what I wanted to do and what other people thought I should do.   When I wanted to try ice hockey, people said I should keep figure skating because I would have no future if I chose a sport that is “for boys”. In college, when I decided to focus on researching Human Evolution and Ecology, people said I would never  get a good job and I should study for medical school or law school instead. These  people sometimes included friends, teachers, coaches, and even my own parents.

So why did I choose a different path? A big reason is that I was searching for      people who understood me and made me feel good about myself: my people. As a  young girl, I was considered “different” because I liked racing and playing street   hockey with the neighborhood boys, I liked fishing with my father, and I hated       dressing up and wearing makeup. When my mother made me try figure skating,     the other figure skaters didn’t like me and told me I was ugly and weird. This is     how I knew that figure skaters were not my people. The first time I met girls who    played hockey, I immediately felt comfortable because these girls were like me! They didn’t think I was ugly or weird – instead, hockey girls thought I was cool and fun to play with. They were my people.

In college, I had a similar experience. At first, I tried to study pre-medicine, but I found the courses boring. Even worse, I found that I didn’t have much in common with other pre-medical students. They were so focused on their grades and test     scores, but I wanted to explore and make discoveries. I was very interested in the  connection between humans and the environment, and I cared a lot about animals and nature. My pre-medical friends didn’t seem to care about these things. once I started volunteering in Evolution and Ecology research labs, I met students and    professors who found my ideas interesting, who cared about the same things I       cared about, and who encouraged me to keep going with research. They were my  people.

Many people try to choose a path by thinking about their final destination. For       example, people choose a sport based on what they think will get them to the         Olympics, or they choose a college major based on what they think will get them a good job. Sometimes, it is important to think about your final destination! But in    reality, no matter how carefully you plan for a certain destination, you cannot      predict the direction that life will take you. My parents and friends could never      have predicted that ice hockey would help me get into Harvard or take me to the    Olympics. Similarly, they never could have predicted that my research would teach me how to program computers and analyze data, which are now considered hot     skills on the job market. Sometimes, you may work hard to reach your final           destination only to realize that this isn’t where you want to be at all! This is why it  is important to keep an open mind about your final destination, and allow your      natural passions and talents to guide you. And when you find people who share     your passions and make you feel good about yourself, listen to them.

I consider myself to be successful, but not because of any accomplishments. I    know people who got into Harvard and have impressive jobs, but they are lonely    and unhappy. In my mind, those people are accomplished, but they are not            successful. Success cannot be measured by accomplishments. Success is a feeling deep inside you, a feeling of security and happiness that you can only achieve       when you are following your passions and are surrounded by people who               appreciate you. Stay true to yourself and trust that one day soon, you will find       your purpose, and your people.

My people are girls who love hockey and scientists who love nature. Who are      your people?

 

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